ISRO coordinating with DRDO for GSLV launch efforts.

Bangalore: Scientists from ISRO and DRDO are meeting this week to co-ordinate for all future GSLV launches that are scheduled to be held in next couple of years. Highly placed sources have indicated that one of the major agreement reached was to schedule the GSLV launch to coincide with AAD/PAD tests that is primarily carried out by DRDO scientists.  Keeping in mind past GSLV launches, DRDO officials maintain that in case the launch vehicle fails during its flight it can be used as an incoming missile for target practice by Advanced Air Defense(AAD) system.


ISRO officials were not immediately available for comments on this issue. However the buzz going around is that ISRO scientists are planning to insert few PSLV launches inbetween every two GSLV launches. The primary reason being that the PSLV is highly proven vehicle with high success rate. By launching few PSLVs a feel good factor is installed in the public at large which is important to nullify the failures of GSLVs.


We contacted few scientists to find out what kind of satellites have been planned to be launched via numerous PLSVs launches and most of them were unsure about it. One of the scientist said they have various satellites that will help us in weather predictions and mineral mappings apart from connecting various universities and providing assistance for distance learning in remote areas, not to mention few spy satellites to keep an eye on our neighbors. Following are the excerpts from the conversation with one of the scientist who on the condition of anonymity agreed to give insiders view.


Me: So can you provide more details about the satellites and the sequence in which they will be launched?


Scientist: There are no satellites to be launched(in muffled voice).


Me: But our sources have already informed that there are infact some PSLV launches scheduled. Are you saying the information is incorrect?


Scientist: No, but as you are aware these launches are to gain the feel good factor. We have no satellites ready to ride these vehicles. We even approached few foreign universities to provides us with micro satellites which we could launch as good will gesture. But they have run out of projects as well. One of the American university wanted us to launch their football in space as their request was turned down by NASA. Some of the universities wanted to launch tennis balls in orbit. Its really frustrating.


Me: Yes it is. You should be launching satellites not balls.


Scientist: Actually, we are frustrated because we are yet to find a solution to launch those 25 tennis balls that we have received so far from various universities and schools at one go. You know, we could have really broken our own previous record of launching 10 balls at a time. We are contemplating on something like mini tennis ball launcher which could be sent in space. Lets see.


Me: You mean the last time you launched 10 satellites at one go, you actually launched tennis balls?


Scientist: (Comes closer) Listen...(in low voice)we have being doing this for quiet a while now. Our own satellites are actually old cathode ray TV sets which we pass them off as satellites for launch. We have to just wrap them in golden or silver foil, that does the trick.


Me:   Hmm... that explains why we don't see benefits from any of these satellite launches! The weather predictions are as bad as they were during the British rule. I mean if the public was not dumb enough they should have guessed it by now. But I wonder what happens to all these TV sets and balls that are launched in the name of satellites?


Scientist: Nothing! After some time they start falling back towards earth. We pass it off as another night of meteorite shower.


Me: Thank you!